Put It On My Screen!!

It's been a busy night around here...but this has to be posted...needs no other comments.

The greatest football team in the USA was fitted for their Super Bowl rings today. Check out the article at the Trib website and relish in the following quote from that article:

"Offensive tackle Max Starks will be wearing his size 18-and-a-half bauble on the middle finger of his right hand. His left hand is out because he's married, and the ring finger on his right hand is unavailable because it's been broken.

Starks doesn't have a problem with potentially having to extend the middle finger of his right hand in the event someone asks to see his Super Bowl ring.

'That'll be for all the people who doubted us,' Starks said."

This is a story about free gum.

Last night, I had the pleasure of spending approximately 2.5 hrs on two separate Metro trips. Long delays and ridiculous track work delays gave me plenty of time to do some people watching while on the way back from the Nationals game. I have come to a conclusion...People chew gum in primarily two ways (at least on the DC Metro after Nats games). There is the courteous way, i.e. people chew gum with the mouth closed....and then there is the "I am going to chew this gum half falling out of my mouth with a smirk on my face because I think I am awesome" technique. Are you inadvertently coming across like a jerk because you smugly chew your gum? Fear not my friends, you can test yourself and it won't cost a cent. Simply click on the picture or link above and you can procure a free pack of Dentyne. I have and I must say, it's delicious....but please, chew responsibly.

I got an email from a friend today at work that had this "game" to play in meetings...It's classic. Originally found at this site. At this point, shouldn't corporate America realize that buzzwords are meaningless and should be eliminated from everyday use?

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.

1. Before (or during) the next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
Synergy, strategic fit, core competencies, best practice, bottom line, revisit, expeditious, to tell you the truth (or "the truth is), 24/7, out of the loop, benchmark, value-added, proactive, win-win, think outside the box, fast track, result-driven, knowledge base, at the end of the day, touch base, mindset, client focus(ed), paradigm, game plan, leverage.

3. Now check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
___

"Real Testimonials" from satisfied players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won." - Adam W., Atlanta

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically." - David T., Orlando

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win." - Dan J., New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours. The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting." - Rod H

I stumbled upon a site that maps the prices of gas across the good 'ol USA. It's rather interesting to see how expensive and how low prices are in parts of the country. While Metro DC gas prices are getting rather high, I am glad that I am not in certain parts of California where gas prices are absurd. So check out the website and see how your area stacks up against the rest of the country: GasBuddy.com

Check out this site to learn how to make a guitar pick out of a credit card (assuming you have an IQ of at least 2, you can probably figure out how to do this without going to the site). I like this idea, because nothing says fun like making your own guitar pick. I get like 1,500 credit card offers with fake plastic cards that I just trash. I might as well get something out of them aside from infinite clutter in my apartment.

Mitch Hedberg cracks me up. His comedy is ridiculous and the way he delivers his lines just amuses me...Unfortunately he died, but take a look at the clip below from Letterman and be amused.



In other news, I saw Gheorghe Muresan, the 7 foot 7 inch tall former NBA player in TGI Friday's in Leesburg, VA tonight. The man is so tall that it is hard to fathom. He literally had to duck in order to get out of the door of the Friday's. I could have jumped in the doorway and not been able to hit my head on the top of the door frame, but then again, I don't jump that well.

File this under thoroughly disturbing...A University of Arizona professor tested different surfaces in offices to see which had the most bacteria and germs.

The surfaces tested were:

    
1.  Desktop
2.  Phone
3.  Mouse
4.  Keyboard
5.  Microwave door handle
6.  Elevator button
7.  Photocopier start button
8.  Photocopier surface
9.  Toilet seat
10. Fax machine
11. Refrigerator handle
12. Water fountain handle

RESULTS

    
The top five most germ-contaminated spots were (in order):
   
1.  Phone
2.  Desktop
3.  Water fountain handle
4.  Microwave door handle
5.  Keyboard

Good to know that if my office is anything like the average office from the study, then my office keyboard, phone, and desk are filthier than a toilet seat. Having just gotten home from work, it is time to go take a shower or something. You can read the full study here.

So Fox took down the Family Guy clips from You Tube ... but the clips are so funny that I needed to post another one...this time from Google Video...enjoy!



Also, CNN/Money posted the Top 10 best jobs. The #1 job was Software Engineering. I would think Rock Star would be the #1 job, but I guess I am mistaken and should be grateful that I am not a rock star, but rather a software engineer. On a positive note, "crack whore" topped the list of CNN/Money's worst jobs for the 15th year in a row!

Rock!

I have been playing guitar for about 10 years now and I can say that I have never played anything quite like a Paul Reed Smith guitar. I own a Custom 24 and absolutely love it. While I think Gibson and Fender make fine musical instruments (I am a proud Strat owner too), I don't think anything can compare with a Paul Reed Smith guitar. Apparently, I am not the only person who feels this way, as PRS (more specifically the AMAZING 513 model) has been named the Electric Guitar of the Year! I really would love to have this guitar, but it is just a bit out of my price range...At around $3,500 I would need a significant raise to afford this beautiful guitar. So one of two things can happen.... (1) PRS, you can send me this guitar for being such a loyal supporter that I write about you or (2) if one of my bosses stumbles upon this blog, they can give me a $3,500 bonus. Sadly, I have like 2 readers, so neither of those 2 things will likely happen.







24!
I am obsessed with Fox's 24. Jack Bauer is awesome and this is quite possibly the greatest show ever. If you haven't started watching this year's season, then you are an idiot...Not really, but it is never too late to start watching. Good news came yesterday that Kiefer Sutherland has signed on for 3 more years (or days) of the series. There are also plans for a film...I suggest that they go into unprecedented territory and do a 1,440 minute extravaganza of a movie. I always thought that movies like King Kong and Lord of the Rings were way too long, but I would undoubtedly have no qualms sitting in a theater for 24 hours while Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles from terror yet again.

Live-Songs from Black Mountain

I have been a HUGE fan of Live since Throwing Copper, thus it is no surprise that I was anticipating the release of their 7th studio album, Songs from Black Mountain. While the album won't be released in the US until 6/13/06, it has already been released in parts of Europe. Live's seventh release is solid. While it doesn't have the power of Throwing Copper or Secret Samadhi, the album holds its own in Live's catalog. The album begins with a dosage of straight up pop in the leadoff single, The River. It seems that most Live songs today seem to be focused around love and water themes. While this can get old at time, The River is a catchy song and decent lead off single. It wouldn't have been my first choice, but then again I am not a record executive. While the album is hardly a rocker, several songs stand out, including Mystery, Get Ready, Show, Wings, Sofia, and Night of Nights. Night of Nights stands out in my mind, as the verses are reminiscent of my favorite Live album Secret Samadhi. Live seems to be reinventing themselves on this record and the sound is definitely fresh. Hard rock is the Live of the past, as the band now seems to be leaning towards adult contemporary now. While I personally prefer the hard rock of the past albums, the tunes are still catchy and if one can get past the at times annoying falsetto of lead singer Ed Kowalcyzk, I feel listeners will find the latest album by Live to be quite enjoyable. Check out the album when it drops in June, I know that I'll be picking up a copy since I am a Live diehard.

Grade: B

Red Hot Chili Peppers-Dani California
On Tuesday, the Red Hot Chili Peppers released the first single from their upcoming album, Stadium Arcadium. I haven't been a huge fan of many of the Chili's lead off singles since before One Hot Minute and I found the last album to be somewhat disappointing. If Dani California, is any indication of what the Chili Peppers have in store for us in their latest album, then I cannot wait. The single is a true rocker and has some great guitar licks. John Frusciante sounds amazing on this song and the outro guitar solo was spectacular. Musically, the single is some of the best music I have heard from the Chili Peppers since One Hot Minute and Californication. If you haven't checked out this song yet, I highly recommend it! The new album will drop on May 9th.

Grade: A